Recently I was reading an article in the Sunday Paper entitled “What’s in Your Tool Box?!”  Accepting my limitations as a DYI Home Improvement Guy, I thought I would read to see if there where tips to enhance my perceived and very real handyman limitations.

However as I was reading, I found my thoughts wandering off to a different type of TOOL BOX,  “What is in my PERSONAL TOOL BOX” that I need to move the meaningfulness and purposeful needle in a positive direction in who I am and can be.

Have you ever reflected and thought, “Gosh, I sure wish I had!” or “If I could do it over I would have…..”  I am sure, like myself, you have had those thoughts on occasion. Why not? We are human and guessing all have made mistakes or missed the mark at times. I know and have regrets in life, (I am not complaining, in fact I feel blessed with my life overall, however self-assessing is never bad as it help for the future and makes us stronger). I sense I am not alone, and fact that I have company does not make my own disappointments easier, but it does make me feel I am not unusual in that perspective.

Happiness, Joy, Satisfaction, Regret and disappointment decisions can be like a fork in the road, not a literal one, but one where we are confronted with alternative paths. As I get older, I have learned that the options in how we will deal with the fork in the road of life are multiple and each alternative has its own set of consequences…….whether good or not as desired. We need to dig through our tool box and decide what tool we will use.

We could blindly take whatever tool is easiest to grab and take a “WHAT EVER, IT IS WHAT IT IS” type attitude, taking the easy direction with little thought of  the situation, job at hand and consequences and let the chips fall as they may, OR actually taking an intentional deliberate approach with a “Stop and Pause!” To ‘pull off the side of the road” read a map, ask for directions type approach, look at what tools are available to us and make a deliberate decision by studying the alternatives and assess the corresponding pluses and minuses of each. Taking these deliberate and intentional actions may be a way to take the best direction in the “fork”, a direction that will take you where you want to go and what you want to experience and give you the best outcome.

This alternative to “It is what it is” can be uncomfortable as you are about to use a new tool, it can nerve racking and at times stressful in the short run, however embracing change, to embrace actions, to embrace what is good has the potential to allow you to take control of the outcome of “IT IS WHAT’s RIGHT,  WANT  I IT TO BE”

So what is in my tool box now and what needs to be added or upgraded? Here are few tool upgrades worth pondering;

• A Better Ruler/Tape measure –  be more measured  in my/our perspectives of others by giving  others greater benefit of doubt, more latitude and to measure more precisely our responses before proceeding and cutting. (No one knows more than I how many trips I have taken the past to Home Depot to get a new board because I did not measure, confirm and validated before I cut!)…lets be more measured.
• Get a Rubber Mallet, a softer hammer – The tough guy, overly blunt and at times demeaning a person approach to a situation may make you feel better, however seldom creates lasting meaningful results. It gets done quickly however It causes “dents” that are hard to remove in a relationship, whether it is personal or business. Think about a softer, gentler rubber mallet.
• Refine the delicacy of the tools – Have you ever watched someone carve or do the delicate finish work on a project? Their patience is remarkable as they search in their tool box for a fine tipped chisel, or a delicate “finishing nail and hammer” , they will accept the time constraint for a better outcome….maybe we need to do that as well as we work on tough problems, relationships or projects. It is not the speed of finishing, but the quality of the outcome that pays significant benefits. Add delicate and finishing skills to our live and relationships.
• Keep my eye on how to improve our trade –  The statement, “Improve or fall backwards” has amazing significance. The rapid nature of how life, careers, opportunities change is accelerating at a rapid pace….we need to slow down and be the lumberjack who frequently stops to sharpen their axe or chainsaw. To sacrifice a little time to improve our productivity and outcome. Seldom is it a waste of time to take the path of “sharpening our axe” to improve our outcome. There is no shortage of resources to help.

So my reading followers, let’s all choose the alternative, reassess our Tool Box and;

“IT IS WHAT IS RIGHT, WHAT I WANT IT TO BE”…not “WHAT IT IS!”