This Rambling is filled with questions and not personal commentary. This is the culmination of many of my previous Ramblings and is one of my more personally meaningful Ramblings. I hope you find the questions help create a “Welcome to the Rest of Your Life Road Map” for you (and partner, remember when doing with a partner, this is an US! not a ME!) as it has for me and you find the questions as thought provoking as I have!
I have a friend and good client who religiously reads and comments on many of my posts. Jim (his real name) always adds an appreciated, interesting perspective and color to what has been written. The most recent post on Scuba and Trust is no exception. Jim’s comment regarding my going outside my comfort zone and the great feeling of stretching was:
“Welcome to the rest of your life Bob.”
I found Jim’s feedback so timely as I had already started this Rambling (a follow-up to the scuba Rambling), “Staying Curious and Fascinated with Life.”
What does this topic really mean and how am I looking at it? This question has caused me to pause and actually think about this in more depth. My response to this question is that I wish there was someone that I could do this reflection with and think about the rest of OUR life as it’s not just about me. I’ve been accustomed to being the solo author and architect of my life but I’m am moving to an attitude of flexibility for when the day comes that there is an “us.” However, for now, it is me and outward focus on others.
A while back, I had a real life personal experience that helped frame why I’m more intentionally practicing “welcome to the rest of your life”:
I go to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester every 18-24 months for a full body (I do mean full body), two-day physical (nothing is left to the imagination). When asked by my personal Mayo physician why I am coming to MAYO EXECUTIVE PHYSICAL DEPT, I responded that my goal is to stack as many chips on my side of the table as I can that will provide me the best chance to live a fully engaged, vibrant, and meaningful life—to age 100.
My hope and dream is that I will be on this planet for another 36+ years. Yikes, 36 years, that seems long, however I am learning that time goes by so quickly; that time will pass in a blink and I do not want to do it alone or be left with a lot of “I SHOULD HAVES!”
I am embracing with open arms the richness of the Rest of My Life by staying curious and fascinated with the world and those people around me!
What does that entail? I am not fully sure myself. However, I am asking the following questions of myself knowing that the answers may change based on whether someday I have someone in my life. Perhaps you’d like to do the same with your life partner? it could be rewarding and I am sure will enhance the intimacy and meaningfulness of your relationship.
- Am I a Conscious Incompetent in who I am? (Do I know what I am not good at and need others help to improve? If not, is it time to figure it out?)
- Based on what you (we) discover in #1, do I (we) care?
- How do I (we) become a Conscious Competent? (How do I (we) become intentional in personal growth, maturity, and relationship growth? Do we understand that disagreement and agreement is healthy and adds intimacy to a relationship?)
- What should I be doing to be selfless? (It is not all about Bob or US!)
- What actions and behavior are significant to actively being committed to my (our) family?
- How should I (we) grow in outward giving?
- How do I (we) grow in spiritual relationship with God?
- What actions and behavior should I (we) embrace to enhance our relationships and significance with friends and those around us?
- How do I (we) further master and honor the value of what others have to offer?
- How do I (we) define and continue to grow together?
- What experiences should I (we) take to see and feel the wonders of the world?
- If doing alone, can I remain flexible enough adjust this road map when I do with that life partner?
Perhaps there are additional questions I should consider? I do not have a corner on great growth questions. I would be interested to hearing from my followers.
Would it not be meaningful to be able to reach that final chapter in our lives and be able to feel that we did our best with the gifts that God has blessed us with, that we’ve grown in our personal and spiritual relationships? That life has been a mutual endeavor with a partner? That we’ve touched others’ lives in a meaningful way? Could all of this intentionality further define a significantly deep relationship with your life partner through meaningful conversation and heartfelt, courageous, and vulnerable sharing and growth?
Welcome to the rest of your life!