Thankful

Creating a Rare Vintage – Decanting Wine, Life, and Relationships

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This will be my last Rambling Blog post until mid-September. Summer is a good time to recharge and let simmer much of what has been written over the past 14 Ramblings. Let the messages and reflections ferment. Mid-September will be the start of a new chapter in my Ramblings, transitioning from what I have learned and self-assessments I’ve made, to observations and experiences concerning the wonders of life.Black LineSome of my favorite memories and trips are the visits I’ve made to Napa Valley in Blog Post Photo 1California. Although I have learned a great deal about wine I have found there is still a great deal to learn and understand as to the delicate and subtle ways water and grapes are nurtured to create something wonderful. This is much like life, relationships, and faith—a constant journey to grow, learn, and mature.

It is this reflection that prompts this Rambling about wine and relationships. It takes patience, interesting ingredients (notice I did not say great, I truly mean interesting), mistakes, trial and error, effort, desire, collaboration, and nurturing to make something great, whether it is wine or relationships.

What I learned from Napa is that wine has the potential to be a rare vintage if you have patience and allow it to decant, you know, to breath. Isn’t that much like life? There needs Blog Post Photo 2to be good, interesting ingredients, respect, and substance and with that as a fundamental foundation, in the process, there are surprises in the outcome of the wine. This is how it is in life and relationships—outcomes we often did not expect until we seriously nurtured the aroma, body, and subtleties of the taste of the evolving creation (and relationship).

I have learned there is a subtle difference between good wine and great wine and the
difference to get the result takes incredible effort and nurturing. It takes desire, it takes patience, it takes science and it takes some very subtle yet incredible level of collaboration (communication). If it’s all done properly, the outcome can be so amazing and savored (especially if paired with a little chocolate J ).

As you peel the “skin” back on wine making you discover something amazing and special, something that you did not expect—again, so similar to deeply personal relationships.

In some cases, keeping the skin on the grape is what is needed, yet there are times, if you are looking for something REALLY special, you take the skin off and you peel back into the soul of the grape to make the great wine, just as you do in great relationships.

As with winemaking and sampling, in life and relationships there will be surprises, both good and those that make you pause and take a big step back—setbacks you may say. You take a pause and let the wine and relationship breath, let what had developed—that still needed some work—to breath. Letting it breath brings out the substance of what was yet to be fully released, enjoyed, and experienced.

Digging deep into the intimacy of the relationship with amazing, intimate, and honest communication is the very act that creates something unique, treasured, and seldom really experienced.

There is a choice: Stay true to the foundation and work through the learning curve with a well decanted breather—a wonderful technique unique to every wine and relationship. OR, let the communication breakdown, forget the foundation, bolt and run, or in some cases allow the wine to turn to vinegar not allowing for the gift of what had been fermented. It’s like sending the wine back for another bottle before it has been decanted—giving up on what could have been one of the great vintages of your wine experience only to discover that the next bottle was not near what the first could have been after allowing it to fully mature.

A Facebook friend just posted this about a relationship that apparently had a superb foundation (was fully decanted) and was allowed to flourish into an amazing never-ending joyful life together:

June 7, 1974, the day I thought was the happiest day of my life. It was so short-sighted! Barely 20 years old, I couldn’t imagine what saying “I do” would unfold . . . I only knew I loved Gordy and didn’t want to be without him in my life. It has been said that “hindsight is 20-20.” Today marks 42 years of married life and I can clearly see the happiness grew as each moment of “I do” continued. I am so grateful that my retiree continued his “I do” and we have experienced countless “happiest day of my life together.”

So what is all of this wine, life, and relationships rambling about? (Replace the word, “wine” below with “relationship” as you read this as this Rambling was not about wine!)

  • A great wine takes unbelievable effort to create unbelievable JOY (not just happiness)
  • A great wine takes a vision
  • A great wine takes patience
  • A great wine takes nurturing
  • A great wine has its flaws that need to be re-engineered collaboratively
  • A great wine takes time and fine tuning along the way
  • A great wine takes maturity
  • A great wine requires time to breathe to bring out the best
  • A great wine needs to be uncorked
  • A great wine needs to be decanted
  • A great wine needs to be savored and enjoyed, not taken for granted
  • A great wine sometimes requires a new harvest of grapes from the same vine
  • A great wine needs to be watered and the grapes not picked too soon
  • A great wine needs to be paired—with a compliment—that on the surface may not be seen

Reflect on this and use it as a template or conversation tool in your relationships and see how they can become a great wine—a vintage that will be enjoyed and treasured for eternity.

Enjoy and savor the wine of life! And I will see you this fall!

The Unbelievable Value of Challenge and Doubt

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I was recently reminded of the Christmas classic, A Christmas Carol, you know the story of the old miser, Scrooge, being challenged by the ghosts of Christmas Present, Christmas Past, and Christmas Future. The ghosts revealed to him not only the ways his negative, insensitive behavior affected those around him but the dark future that awaited him.

I had my own Christmas Carol/Scrooge experience not that long ago when I was in a group setting and observed how the presenter responded when someone challenged him with a new perspective. While the feedback was being shared in a professional manner, you know, in an “I want to help” sort of tone, I found the presenter’s response (in behavior and tone) to be defensive and dismissive. I thought, “That was me in the past, yikes!” It was a meaningful reinforcement of what I have learned—and continue to learn—a personal discovery that warrants sharing.

Awareness and personal importance are catalysts to learning and personal growth.

Remember the closing of A Christmas Carol with Scrooge’s expression after his transformation? He experienced uncontrolled happiness and, more importantly, JOY! Remember how those around him were also feeling the joy and excitement of the new Scrooge? Maybe it was the emergence of the Scrooge that was always in there somewhere but just needed to be cracked out of its shell.

Care about everything, I mean everything. It adds up to how we choose to maneuver through the world and with others.

There have been times throughout the recent past when I felt like both the Scrooge of the past and, more recently, the Scrooge of the future. Why the change? It’s because, fundamentally, I care about the future. Shouldn’t we all?

I think the story of Scrooge inspires four overreaching messages I am of the belief we should learn to live by:

  1. WE are often the last to know about a misaligned behavior and we need to care in order to effect change.
  2. WE need to have people we trust to tell us what is being observed about us.
  3. WE can change if it is important and as long as it for our own personal reasons.
  4. Now the hard part for many: Those previously affected (by the Scrooge syndrome) need to exhibit amazing grace in forgiveness and understanding of the past and embrace (with a warm trusting hug) an excitement for the future. (Want to read about grace? Read Brennan Manning’s book, Ragamuffin Gospel)

Strommen Blog Pic 6.16.16 Pic 1

Not being a Lone Wolf has manifested in me a powerful message, behavior, and change in perspective.

Recently, I have been blessed with some great new people in my life: friends, relationships, professional advisors. I have been changed in how I view many aspects of my business and personal life. I remember the days when I was younger (could have been 1 year younger 🙂 ) when I would be told (or the suggestion made) that something was not possible, or could maybe be done in a better way. I would think “I’ll show them that I can do it!” I did not like others doubting me or my ability to do the task. I felt insecure in being challenged about something I believed in (right or wrong). How self-centered I was to feel and believe this! How self-righteous I was in thinking I was that good. How disrespectful I was to those who wanted to provide input to enhance the outcome. Too prideful comes to mind.

The bigger the challenge the bigger the opportunity.  –unknown

This was further reinforced at my Monday morning men’s group when I began challenging and asking questions about a topic that was being skimmed over. One of the other members said, “The challenging of a perspective has been good, Bob.” It dawned on me that he was right, challenge done properly and received openly is worthy of sharing.

What do challenges and doubt do?

  • Challenge and doubt trigger reconsideration of one’s posture through reflection;
  • Have the potential to create deeper conviction of the belief as it is no longer superficial in its nature;
  • If communicated and received properly, they further define who you are;
  • Creates meaningful dialog between the parties that is fun, has depth, and most likely enhances the closeness of the relationship. All byproducts that are enriching;
  • Could very possibly temper the posture, or may enhance the outcome with a new perspective;
  • Expand one’s knowledge and self-awareness;
  • Allow for a deeper, more personal understanding of others through positive growth.

None of this would be possible without the lasting POWER OF CHALLENGE AND DOUBT.

The Importance of a Single Starfish

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A Trip that Made a Difference to Diadora and ME!

Perhaps you have heard this story before: A boy was walking along the beach after a storm and discovered hundreds of starfish had washed up onto the shore. He began picking them up, one at a time, and throwing them back into the ocean when a man stopped and asked, “Why are you doing that? It will make little difference as there are hundreds of them.” The boy picked up one more starfish, threw it back into the ocean and replied, “It made a difference to that one!” **

Home image 1 Starfish blogI recently returned from Nicaragua where I volunteered for a Habitat for Humanity project. I was overwhelmed with the magnitude of poverty in the small village where we worked.

Prior to our venturing out, we had an orientation led by our Nicaraguan Habitat leader, Aleandra, who reported that there was a need for over 600,000 homes in Nicaragua— either new build or fixing up existing homes in desperate need ofInterior home Starfish blog repair. And we were going to build ONE HOME! At the time I thought, what difference will this make? How do you tackle such an overwhelming need?

When we met the eventual home owner Diadora, her daughter, and grandchildren, I realized that we were making a life-changing impact for this one family. I saw and experienced the deep emotion and gratitude of Diadora and her daughter for what we were doing for them. I got it—and found joy and Diadora family Starfish bloghappiness for what we were doing knowing that their lives and their children’s lives just took a major turn for the better. They had something so very powerful – HOPE and the feeling of knowing that someone CARED.

Every morning before we had breakfast, I got up at 5:30 and spent an hour by myself reflecting on the previous day and I prayed for the day ahead. I prayed that what I was experiencing and the meaningful lessons learned would be brought home with me. These people are no different than those we engage with most every day. Everyone needs to feel there is hope, that someone cares for their future, and that someone “has their back,” maybe not to the degree I experienced in Nicaragua, but the foundation and fundamentals are the same. I prayed that this would be etched on my heart.

During the week, I walked the neighborhood during our breaks to engage with the childrenBob w kids Starfish post who were happy, playful, and full of curiosity about this gringo walking in their neighborhood. We played soccer in the dusty dirt streets. We laughed and communicated as we had fun. We took selfie photos and giggled and smiled as they saw photos of themselves. I was able to arrange to get some reprints to some of the kids as a special statement that they were important.

I alwaBob and Diadora daughterys wondered prior to the trip what impact we would make on the family of the house, but did not comprehend the impact that the people and volunteering would have on me. One afternoon, I walked the entire
neighborhood and was struck with startling and deep emotion. I was humbled with what I was experiencing—being grateful in a way that I had never felt before. I was humbled for my life and how amazed I was at the happiness, gratitude, pride, and care that these families felt and exhibited despite having so little. And I mean so little: no running water, dirt floors, outhouses, outdoor cooking over an open fire—and incomes often less than $100 a month.

I walked away feeling less prideful, and with a deeper caring and concern for those around me. I want to be a more patient, more giving, and open person. I cannot express enough how I hope others will seek out an experience like this as it will deepen the substance of who you are and how you view life around you and the relationships you have.

My trip to Nicaragua as part of a Habitat for Humanity volunteer team and my experiences there can be best summarized by this quote:

Quote for Starfish blog

 

**adapted from The Star Thrower, by Loren Eiseley

Holiday Thank You

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I originally wrote this piece in December 2010.

I want to take this opportunity to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and Happy Holiday Season. In doing so, I am sharing the attached “YouTube” video as a small Christmas gift of song to all who have been part of my life personally and professionally. I hope you enjoy this, and in the event you have already had the privilege of viewing, this provides a nice uplifting moment in your busy day.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXh7JR9oKVE&feature=youtu.be

On my personal email account, I have two occurring phrases “Life is wonderful…..we need to discover and embrace all that it has to offer!” and “In life you have only a few times to show how much you really care. Do not let those opportunities slip by!”

I was reminded of this when I was told last week that a new friend and client had just recently been diagnosed with a serious form of cancer. I was humbled by the news and felt sad, not just for the client and his family who now have to face this new challenge, but with the fact that I have had moments this past year of feeling sorry for myself for struggles and challenges I have been facing . . . things all of us face. I realized that my challenges were minor in scope and inconsequential in nature as I reflected on the greatness of life, health, and the new and old friends I have.

I am reminded that I cannot forget to say “Thank You” to those around me and not to forget that care, compassion, and concern for others is one of the greatest gifts that I can give to others, whether they be friends or clients.

My new website www.strommen.com introduces you to the Strommen Family Foundation, an instrument for giving back to one of my passions, “youth.” I look forward to the future as the Foundation continues to grow and evolve into one of the hallmarks of the firm and our commitment to family and legacy.

Life is wonderful and we need to continue to discover all that it has to offer and embrace the greatness that it provides. As a frequent Caribou Coffee drinker, I reflect on their slogan: “Life is Short…Stay Awake for It!” Oh how true that statement is.

So, during this snowy holiday season, I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and all the happiness and grandeur that life and family can give to you this season and for seasons to come.

So Much to Be Thankful For

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I originally wrote this piece in the summer of 2010.

In everyone’s life there are turning points and defining events that shape or reshape who we are and how we approach life. The past year, and most specifically the past five months, have been one of those defining periods in my life. The goStrommen Thankful Dock Imageod news is that we can determine how the defining moments in life will affect us. In my case, I see them as an opportunity for growth, reflection, change, and revitalization. Professionally, my website is a public banner statement of this revitalization to embrace life, honor heritage, and be thankful for legacy. I am committed to sharing this revitalization with those around me and using it in my approach to life and business.

One of my favorite vocalists is Josh Groban, a young tenor who calms my soul and revitalizes my emotions. I was given a CD entitled Noel and one of the songs in particular, “Thankful” touched me. Here are some of the lyrics:

“Thankful”
by Josh Groban

Some days we forget
To look around us
Some days we can’t see
The joy that surrounds us
So caught up inside ourselves
We take when we should give.

So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be.
And on this day we hope for
What we still can’t see.
It’s up to us to be the change
And even though we all can still do more
There’s so much to be thankful for.

The other day I was driving downtown along Washington Avenue and saw a middle-age mother and two children walking next to a man in a wheelchair. The man was powering his wheelchair by blowing in a tube and using his chin to steer. At that moment I was reminded that “There is so much to be thankful for!”