Watch for Part II – Sequel on Friday
Reader, in this Rambling I am using the images of a rough, uncut diamond and a perfectly cut diamond as an analogy to life and the process (or work) it takes to shape and polish ourselves into an interesting, meaningful and sustentative person.
Recently, I was asked how I come up with the themes for my Ramblings and how I outline the content before writing a Rambling post. I found it difficult to provide a meaningful answer. You see, I try to be observant about what’s going on around me. Often times, things I read or conversations I have trigger a lightning bolt of internal thought that goes something like: That was interesting and meaningful, maybe I could do a Rambling about that. I will then jot a cryptic note on my phone.
As for outlining the content, I thought to myself: Outline? Am I supposed to do an outline? I just look at the topic or theme and start writing from the heart and see what comes out—just like what I am doing right now! I guess that’s why these posts are “Ramblings” as they are basically reflections from my heart on topics and discoveries that mean something to me, have impacted me, and/or created change.
My objective? Challenge readers to reflect inward and see if anything I ramble about provides a “lightning bolt” for them.
As I sit here typing, I’m experiencing a rush of emotions at what I am about to write: Should I share what’s about to come out of me? Maybe I shouldn’t. But, heck, if I am being true to myself, honest with who I am, and authentic with my readers, why not? Maybe it will trigger a personal thought and additional insight for someone.
You see, I am single and do not want to be! I have, however, discovered how picky I am, how I have changed, and how I look at relationships—I only want to be married one more time. I have discovered so much in the past 18-24 months as to who I was in the past, and who I am today. I know what’s important to me and what I want in the person I will spend the rest of my life with.
Have you thought about this? If you’re in a relationship, have you discussed what is important with your partner and how to grow in order to be Co-Authors of the Book of an amazing “US”? This discovery is what brings me to my theme for this Rambling. (I pray that someday I will find that person who sees, feels, hears, and experiences this and says…WOW who is this guy?)
In the past, I thought I knew who I was as a person, but I was way too consumed with the wrong things to know how prideful, righteous, and shame-filled I was. This attitude and poorly placed attribute clouded my potential brilliance, has caused others to run and throw away the relationship (actually at the time, I was way too rough and had not learned to accept cutting and polishing), much like a rough, uncut diamond. I now know what it means to change and self-discover. Regret and change is so emotional, tough, and exciting all at the same time. I was told I couldn’t change. However, like an uncut diamond, while the core of who we are, along with our God-given talents that there are something’s that cannot change, however I am learning that we can cut and polish the stone (core), with the help of others, to bring out the true brilliance of who we are, smoothing away what is often clouded by rough, ragged edges. Boy, was I an uncut diamond!
Have you given thought to who you are at your core? What might need to be cut and polished? Do you surround yourself with those who can help? Do you want to renew a connection with someone in your life—a partner, friend, family member? Are you searching for the one who you wants to co-Author an “US” with?
As I write this, I am reflecting on the multi-faceted aspects of how I am attempting to live my life in a wholehearted, meaningful, and purposeful way. Maybe you, too, are struck with how to do this. A good and interesting support for me has been my renewed interest in reading. I have found Brene Brown, The Gift of Imperfection, and a great relationship book by Danny Silks, and Rick Warren’s, The Purpose Driven Life, insightful reads to name a few. Rick Warren’s is based in faith and belief in God. However, regardless of our beliefs, the book remains a recommendation as I have found it so significant.
When we look at an uncut, rough diamond, what do we see? Perhaps we can see the gem inside what simply looks like a piece of glass. It is shapeless, colorless, jagged, and rough around the edges. You may wonder whether it’s something special or just a piece of worthless glass. Is there value here or just an interesting creation of science and God? You may hang on to it for a bit, but if it is not explored more closely you may discard it and look elsewhere, not realizing you’ve just thrown away something of potential brilliance and significant substance. If that did occur, who’s fault was it?
Now imagine it’s a person, not a rock, that we’re talking about. There could be two dimensions of fault: The rough diamond itself (the person) who has chosen not to be polished, not to change, not to be shaped and polished into something special. They then wonder why they were discarded. It could also be the observer who did not see the depth of the brilliance, did not have the patience to wait for the polishing, did not trust it was possible, or just did not ask the right questions. In any event, there was a tragic loss.
With some effort, and a willingness to make a change, the rough-cut diamond can be cut, polished, and shaped to reveal the true brilliance of what’s underneath. The brilliance will have multiple facets, much like a diamond, all slightly different, yet the collection of the facets creates something very special. That does not mean there may not still be a few imperfections (inclusions), yet those inclusions also create a uniqueness that can add significant value as there is no such thing as perfect—in the diamond world—or with people and relationships.
Commit to finding your brilliance!
I have discovered that with great effort and help from others who have unique talents and perspectives (diamond cutters), that the rough diamond can become a brilliant, wonderful, and fantastic creation. This happens when we are committed to working on creating a brilliant, meaningful, and uniquely purposeful and wholehearted life and a relationship with a lifelong partner, a partner who also wants to grow, live a purposeful life, and continue to polish (and be polished) by sharing and embracing all the brilliance and inclusions together.