Author: bobstrommenblog

Last Words of Steve Jobs

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I shared this on My Facebook, however the significance of the message is worthy of a Rambling Post.

This is a must read for all of us to never forget. Love, appreciation for those around us, having a personal defined purpose that defines who you are in your soul and heart that resonates outward in unexpected ways.

As I heard recently, live life so that being around you is like eating chocolate cake… A total and complete blessing and privilege for your unexpected and deserving grace!

The last words of Steve Jobs –
I have come to the pinnacle of success in business.
In the eyes of others, my life has been the symbol of success.
However, apart from work, I have little joy. Finally, my wealth is simply a fact to which I am accustomed.
At this time, lying on the hospital bed and remembering all my life, I realize that all the accolades and riches of which I was once so proud, have become insignificant with my imminent death.
In the dark, when I look at green lights, of the equipment for artificial respiration and feel the buzz of their mechanical sounds, I can feel the breath of my approaching death looming over me.
Only now do I understand that once you accumulate enough money for the rest of your life, you have to pursue objectives that are not related to wealth.
It should be something more important:
For example, stories of love, art, dreams of my childhood.
No, stop pursuing wealth, it can only make a person into a twisted being, just like me.
God has made us one way, we can feel the love in the heart of each of us, and not illusions built by fame or money, like I made in my life, I cannot take them with me.
I can only take with me the memories that were strengthened by love.
This is the true wealth that will follow you; will accompany you, he will give strength and light to go ahead.
Love can travel thousands of miles and so life has no limits. Move to where you want to go. Strive to reach the goals you want to achieve. Everything is in your heart and in your hands.
What is the world’s most expensive bed? The hospital bed.
You, if you have money, you can hire someone to drive your car, but you cannot hire someone to take your illness that is killing you.
Material things lost can be found. But one thing you can never find when you lose: life.
Whatever stage of life where we are right now, at the end we will have to face the day when the curtain falls.
Please treasure your family love, love for your spouse, love for your friends…
Treat everyone well and stay friendly with your neighbours.

Don’t Wait for Someday!

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Two of my many memories of my dad are of him being my coach in Little League and all the times over the years when he would say, “Someday we will not be able to do this.”

Ah, baseball, what a passion he had. Dad was a great athlete in his youth, growing up and playing ball in Lamberton, MN and then at Augsburg College. He was drafted and played baseball with the St. Louis Cardinals as a young and upcoming pitcher. He was given the name “Doc” because he always had ace bandages on some part of his body. All indications were that he was going to make it to the big leagues. However, God apparently had a different plan.

Dad came down with tuberculosis, a devastating illness that at the time had no cure. He was quarantined for over two years, putting an end to his baseball career. Maybe this was when he learned to really embrace life, charity, and compassion. Maybe this was when his lifelong motto “Someday we will not be able to do this” was developed. I wonder what would have happened if penicillin had not been discovered—would I be here? Or, what would my life have been like had my father been a professional athlete? Would I have been born? Would there be a Bob? This becomes a whole series of unanswerable questions that can mess with my mind if I let it.

Redirecting following a setback
God does work in amazing ways: What looked like the loss of a great baseball career actually resulted in an amazing career in business. My dad took a setback and redirected himself into a great life filled with career success and, more importantly, a successful life. He had an impact on, and appreciation for, those around him. He developed his faith. He embraced compassion, generosity, and grace. Dad’s faith became the foundation for how he lived his life. I believe his experience with a serious illness also instilled an amazing drive to succeed—he loved to win (Sounds a little “Trumpish” doesn’t it? However, Dad’s ego was far less apparent). Dad loved the feeling of success and felt that being at the top of the game was a hallmark and defined success. This was a trait that I learned to love. However, as I have discovered, as many of us should, this was also a family-of-origin issue that I did not handle well in the past and is often an issue we should all take a hard look at.

Strommen Blog Pic 5.27.16Back to his coaching: What a great experience to spend this kind of time with my dad. It was special for me as well as my fellow teammates who got to know and respect my dad. I was very proud to call him DAD. He tried hard to make me a pitcher, too—I had a strong arm. Dad got into great shape as he had to run after the balls as they flew over his head in the backyard. I was being taught to pitch although it was a skill I never mastered. But was there more going on than just learning to pitch? Was I learning to handle adversity? Was I learning that someone else’s talents do not need to be mine? Was I learning to find my “niche” in this athletic world, to continue to strive to do my best with the support and love of someone else? It turns out I was learning all of these lessons. However, it seems I did not bring these lessons quickly to the forefront in terms of my maturity and growing up.

There were many times when Dad would suggest doing something as a family and follow it with, “Let’s do it! Someday we will not be able to do this.” I would think, sure, let’s go without a great deal of thought as to what he was really saying. We had great times and made great memories. I became friends with my dad and mom—not that they were perfect—all relationships have flaws. However, what did develop in our relationship was grounded with grace and love, allowing us to overlook human flaws. That went both ways!

A number of years ago, Dad’s motto became very meaningful. My parents suggested we all take an amazing trip to Europe together. Yup, the suggestion was followed with, “Let’s do it, someday we will not be able to do this!” Off we went to Greece and Istanbul. I recall standing on the back of the small cruise ship talking to Dad after our final evening’s private dinner. As we cruised into the straits leading to Istanbul, he said, “I just am not feeling right. I’ve got to get to the bottom of why I feel this way, Bob.” I acknowledged his statement but didn’t give it a great deal of thought other than agreeing and showing interest and support as Dad was always in tune with his health (in large part due to his TB experience 50 years earlier). He was right, a little more than a month later he was diagnosed with cancer and passed away 13 months later. He was so right, let’s do things now as we do not know what the future holds. Someday we will not be able to do this!

Don’t wait for “Someday”
This reflection and memory is making more sense and has a deeper meaning as I get older. I realize that life is short and precious. I realize there are no guarantees for tomorrow. I guess this is what is driving some of my decisions today. I cannot wait to have a relationship with God. I cannot wait to take time with my children and grandchild. I cannot wait for “someday” to have life experiences, to serve others, to embrace life, and convince others that I am ok or that our relationship can work. I cannot wait to express how I feel today as I might not be around tomorrow. I as well as all of us, need to understand that there are many aspects of life we have no control over and that sometimes others need to take the initiative if it is important as we cannot make anyone else care or love. Not only am I challenging myself, I encourage others to look at what “someday” activities we need to do now that is meaningful to ourselves, to those that we care so much for and who are receptive to our passion of love, care, trust, honor, and respect.

I challenge everyone who is following my writings (Well I guess you are if you are reading this last paragraph—I am brilliant that way.) to do this: To not only create your “Someday bucket” list, but work intentionally in checking it off. I am guessing many of us will have far fewer regrets if we do just that.

Signing off now as I am starting to create my bucket list tonight. Someday I may not be able to.

 

Lesson Learned

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As I sit on the cabin deck this Sunday morning, I submit this preamble to a future Rambling on Courage

Courage to be transparent(vulnerable), especially if you are already  fearful of vulnerability can be either amazingly freeing, or it can tuck you back into your emotional guarded egg shell.

Let me share two real stories;

The Positive: I knew I had bruised two business relationships, I reaching out to both for coffee, I took the personal risk to acknowledge where I was wrong and asked for grace and forgiveness. In both I was received with amazing grace and compassion. The relationship became closer as a result. It felt and continues to feel so rewarding and fantastic.

The Not So Good; a personal relationship that was growing significantly and I expressed a feeling that I wanted to validate, an expression that I thought was exposing my vulnerability, removing a bit of my internalized armor to be vulnerable between us. To bring us closer. The result, I was reminded and It was held over me multiple times how it created the opposite ( I was told “you will regret you ever told me what you were thinking and validating”.. So true!). The armor was put back on, shame of intimacy grew a bit deeper.

What did I learn that is the soul of this Rambling that is worthy to ponder?

TWO LESSONS LEARNED;

1-Willingness to have the courage to be vulnerable can create amazingly positive results that builds intimacy and relationships. (Brene Brown would call this adding marbles to your marble friend jar)

2- When vulnerability creates the opposite result, discuss it, express how the challenge and slap down(s) made you feel. Clarify the vulnerability expressed, if it remains something being held over your head, a marble or two were just removed from your marble friend jar and intimacy and safety become severely bruised.

Both these lessons were invaluable. Lesson #2 haunts me to this day as I did not do this as well as I should, in large part I had not learned lesson #1 as I know it today. The person, has no clue how it affected me and us!

Lessons learned in life are endless. Life growth is painful, yet also rewarding at the same time.

So as I sit on the cabin deck this Sunday morning, A coffee cup toast  to lessons learned 1 & 2 and the rewards we all receive from life growth.

Living a Life of “Today!”

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An unedited rambling as I sit at the cabin this Sunday morning

Before I left for the cabin this weekend, I was reading and was struck with the convergence of thoughts and experiences from my reading Ragamuffin Gospel. I was again touched by the message of grace and outward living, I was directed to a new book that I will tackle “The Moviegoer by Walker Percy” and then the image and writings of ERMA BROMBECK came to mind. I did some google research on ERMA and discovered her posting; “If I could live my life over I would….” (Maybe we should just stop, pause and reflect on that one for a while….great heading for a journal post don’t you think? Seriously, stop right here and answer the question for yourself). This Erma title is a worthy question that we wish we could at times do as it asks, yet hopefully the list is short. The reality is we learn from the past and live for the future.

I was struck by the collection of common themes that all converged within 30 minutes Friday  morning and began to reflect on the wonders of “Living a Life of Today!”

I was struck by the realization that I have slowly been changing in how I consciously live a little more each day. I have come to realize that this statement and perspective has significance far deeper than the words and is slowly and methodically (patience bob) creating the foundation for a different and impactful life for myself and those around me.

I recall after graduation from Augsburg College and in my first career job teaching, my wife and I made the decision that instead of working during the summer months we would travel, we had not started a family yet and decided that our teaching careers allowed us an unusual opportunity to experience the United States each summer with no special plan other than the direction.

WEST, we stopped at the Corn Palace (Don’t be envious, we hit all the high spots that would make any worldly traveler envious), Wall Drug, Mt Rushmore, Glacier and eventually San Francisco, EAST: Chicago, Great Lakes, New York, Washington DC, SW: Arizona, Las Vegas, Grand Canyon, you get the picture. As we meandered in our yellow, hatchback VEGA, we took side trips encourage by paint pealed wooden arrows that expounded “WORLD FAMOUS VIEWS, HISTORIC SITES and CAN’T MISS OPPORTUNITIES!” sometimes we experienced as the sign promoted, but most times the experience was as tattered as the sign that directed us.

Despite the frequent disappointments, we were affected by each experience; we learned from the experience, we grew from the unknown that became the known. We had kept our eyes open and found wonder in what we discovered regardless of the depth of the paint peel and condition of the experience. Think about this, this applies to those around us as well. You know, those people who have paint peeled, worn skin and expressions on their faces. Those whose clothes are tattered and worn, those that you may avoid as it does not appear that there is value in the relationship or connection. They are much like our travels, they are Surprises far more worthy of the experience than you can imagine…in fact you may find those tattered individuals and experiences a far greater surprise than the shiny, top of the chart promotion or attraction that cost $15 to enter and experience.

As time progresses it is easy to lose some of that spontaneous wonder of living a life of excitement and wonder. It is easy to become to focused on career, on performance and how we are guided to defined success.

I remained fully committed to my kids in being fully engage in their lives, hardly missed a significant or even a minor event in their lives; concerts, conferences, plays, athletic events, church activities, coached their teams for 14 summers and at times the winters off season leagues as well, whatever they may be participating in we were there in spirit, body and encouragement. Despite that, I was much like the planet of SATURN, I had many rings in my life, yet I had concentrated so hard on the planet and the first ring (children) that I hardly was aware that her were other rings that should have made up my life. I had become so self-centered on performance driven outcome that I lost perspective on how to truly live my life for the long term and what really mattered beyond my children and career. I actually feel, as I reflect on it today, that I was actually dying each day in a way that I was unaware.

What a mistake, (We are so human filled with sins and mistakes) as it contributed to defining family of origin. I did not realize till recently how this had affected me. Life experiences enable those who pay attention to be more in tune with the “outer rings of Saturn” those wonders of life,  those around us and  how surprises, prompted by outward engagement changes how ee view life, view relationships, view family, view ourselves. It is not me that is so rewarding, it is those around me. What a great reset in perspective.

I love the term reset as it donates vibrance, change, excitement, maturity and rewards that have not been experienced in the past.

I am coming to realize that it is not only those who have succeeded that are so impressive and life changing (these are easy people to hang with), it is those that have failed, those who are struggling, those Ragamuffins that we often look past that have so much to offer who have so much to receive (these are the ones that will test our soul, compassion and heart. We can all sit with great with pride with those who have succeeded, but can we sit with the fallen with even more satisfaction?

Remember my earlier statement…. For me to consciously be “living a little more each day as opposed to dying a little each day”

What does that really mean? Let me share with you a recent, personal experience that may put this in perspective as it clearly did for me. I was on a run by Lake of the Isles on a gorgeous Saturday afternoon and saw an elderly gentleman shuffling on the sidewalk that I was about to turn onto, as I was running past I was moved to stop, take off my ear buds and walk back and wish him well, we engaged, talked briefly on the wonders of the weather, life and chatted briefly. I again wished him well, thanked him for the brief exchange and took off. I have no idea what he was thinking, but I was moved my desire to stop and engage, I was disappointed that I did not stay with him longer (one of those live my life over experiences). To this day, I look for him to re-engage in our conversation, to forgo my running and get to know this gentleman. I feel that we would be good for each other. Despite this short exchange, I was rewarded with his kindness, his gentleness and his smile as we visited. HE WAS A SURPRISE TO ME that made the balance of my run so rewarding. I have committed to look each day as I run and live to BE THE SURPRISE as I am sure I will discover a reward or be the reward for the experience.

This brings me to the close of this rambling with a request that you watch this clip below….as you watch, think not only of your parents, but your children, extended family, friends and centers of influence, think of those special people in our life and remember that tomorrow my not come. Remember that “I will do it later” thoughts can result in amazing disappointments and that today is the day to show how you care.

https://www.facebook.com/UpLiftingbibleVerses/videos/10153808021284652/

As sit at the cabin, Thank You for reading this spontaneous and unedited rambling

Dirty Hands

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During my college days I was fortunate to get good summer jobs—not easy jobs—but grueling, physical, dirty jobs at the railyard replacing rail and ties, in construction, and at the Ford plant building trucks. What I thought I was doing was simply making good money and getting physically prepared for fall soccer. However, as I discovered later, I was actually being prepared for life and learning lessons that would serve me well in the future.

Dirty Hands Bob Strommen Blog

In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt – Margaret Atwood

By the end of that summer I was fit, toughened up, and my hardened, callused hands proof that I was ready for fall soccer. Perhaps more important, I was better prepared for life, as a captain of the soccer team, I was in a better position to lead by example for the upcoming season, I was better prepared for the toughness of life. I recall my first day of my first job: I was working for the Soo Line railroad the summer after my freshman year. The yard foreman looked around at a crew of clean-cut college kids fresh from the suburbs and asked to see the palms of our hands. As we displayed our hands, palms up, he not so subtly said “Just what I blankety-blank (his exact words would not be appropriate here) thought—you have never had a real job—let’s see if you know how to work.”

Did I enjoy that summer in the rail yard of the Soo Line Railroad in Columbia Heights? Heck no. Was it an invaluable experience that allowed me to walk into future summer jobs with a new sense of confidence and experience? Yes. Did future summer job foremen understand that I was better suited for the summer ahead? Yes. Would the lessons I learned impact me? Yes. Have I carried them with me throughout my adult life? Absolutely, but at times with too much pride. Since then, and more accurately recently, I have learned the value of others opinions, accepting them more graciously and with interest. Not everyone’s opinions, but those that have earned the right to give them.

I had received a gift—getting my hands dirty—that at the time I didn’t have the tools to appreciate.

Since then, and more accurately recently, I have learned the value of others opinions, accepting them more graciously and with interest. Not everyone’s opinions, but those that have earned the right to give them.

In the second to last Rocky movie, there is a scene where Rocky Balboa (Sylvester Stallone) talks to his son. He says something to the effect “It’s not how hard you can hit, it’s how many times you can get up after being hit that counts!”

In my opinion, it’s the person whose face has been bloodied, who has the scars of experience, sacrifice, toil, failure, and battle who has earned the right to express a meaningful opinion worthy of consideration. In fact, I like how Teddy Roosevelt framed it in “The Man in the Arena,” I have included an excerpt from the speech he delivered in April 1910 at the Sorbonne, in Paris.

Dirty Hands Quote Strommen Blog

I have been in the “arenas” of business, relationships, faith, and athletics. I have felt like Rocky Balboa in his first fight against Apollo Creed—beat up and bloody, but still standing. I struggle with regret, I mourn over losses that I have no control to correct. I desire to take the shoulders of those I have failed to ask for forgiveness, wishing they would take a look at me today and not totally judge me by the past. I am thankful that some have, and others regrettably choose to hang on to the past and not what the future can be.

Dirty Hands Face QuoteI have learned however, that control cannot be taken. Control must be earned, given or maybe more importantly, shared. This was reinforced when I was blessed with asking for forgiveness of some I have been associated with in the past. The expression of vulnerability and grace I expressed was overwhelming and created a bond that was not there in the past. Trust began to be re-established. What a wonderful experience grace can be and at the same time difficult lesson to have learned.

Where is the Mycitracin ointment to heal my wounds? (Is there Mycitracin for the soul and heart? Gosh I wish there was, maybe God infused Mycitracin is available? Doubt CVS or Walgreen’s carries it!). My wounds are healing slowly, but the scar will remain as they will be my reminder to get up and learn from my failures and get on with my life.

I feel blessed that I have received, and continue to receive, an amazing gift from those around me—ADVICE. I’ve received advice from those who have gotten their own face and soul bruised and bloodied. I have been, and continue to be, blessed by these same individuals who are willing to be intimate in our conversation and who care about me and others they touch beyond themselves. These authentic people are the ones I value. I challenge others to surround themselves with those who have been in the arena and to graciously listen to what they say as they are real in their perspectives.

I thank them for their emotional intimacy, for helping me mature and change, (gosh maybe that is God’s way of giving me that Heart Mycitracin I have been looking for), to help me look at life through a different lens, to challenge thoughts and beliefs, to help me do my best to be good. Who knows what the future has in store, maybe God has a surprise for me? Maybe forgiveness and 2nd chances can be the surprise? Time will tell as I have no control other than my faith and how I choose to live my life going forward.

I encourage all to reflect on a relationship that has suffered, and to reach out and demonstrate or ask for grace, the outcome can be life changing and the relationship will never be the same.

Why else do I keep getting up?…… I care!

Surprised This Morning

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This is a true rambling, spontaneous and unedited as I was surprised and was the surprise this morning. What a great start to the day. I felt a need to share.

Positional power, career, elected office, title, as a parent, as our self identity are all temporary.

Personal Power, that which is in our heart is eternal, is forever. That integrity factor, that which pumps through our veins. It is the most amazing muscle we have, our heart that works to sustain our life.

This morning I was reminded that we must constantly be nurturing our heart with substance. We must be feeding it with purpose, grace and external insight.

We need to fulfill our true life purpose by living a montra “More you give, more I receive”.

That  love, money, power and  sexuality, are all blessed by God. Blessed as long there is not a deficiency or abundance, you know, balanced with a caring heart.

We need to fertilize the roots of our heart to be strong and deep, nurturing our substance, not the image of green grass with shallow roots. We need to find the right purpose and right fertilizer that Keeps our focus on serving, not being served!

Have a wonderful Mothers Day

What Matters?

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Who Are You, Really?

I was listening to a speaker recently who said, “Tell me what you do with your time. Tell me your passions, interests, what is important to do when you have free time, what you watch on TV, what you read, if you read, and I will know who you are as a person. If you spend most of your time on meaningful tasks, you have become or are becoming a meaningful person, if all you do is shallow and superficial, then that is who you will become.”

Have you ever asked yourself, “Who am I?” Have you ever even pondered the question?

It is like asking a person what do you do? They respond, “I am a doctor,” or “I am a CEO,” or a salesman, researcher, etc. My response is, no, that is what you have become, but not who you are.

I have discovered reading!

Now that may seem to be a strange public acknowledgement, but it is true. In the past I had not been a reader of anything that did not have to do with business or my career. I just had not discovered the value of it. I was too restless, too impatient, too naïve in understanding what I would gain from this time. BOY WAS I WRONG!

What Matters - Books PhotoI have been reading personal development works by Brené Brown, spiritual books by Rick Warren, Brennan Manning, and the Bible. I have started reading interesting books for the sheer joy of just reading. I’ve also become interested in Minnesota-based mystery books by local authors and have been receiving recommendations from others of books I should read as they are learning that this is a personal interest.

Regardless of what I am reading at the time, I have found value: Value that may be is as simple as relaxing enjoyment, Value in reading something that resonates with me in terms of imperfections that I need to decide if I care enough to adjust, Value in spiritual understanding and developing an intimate relationship with my God, Value in just challenging my mind and thoughts on a topic, Value in something that makes me a more interesting and broader person, reading something that I have enjoyed and may be of interest to those around me.

Looking at the compilation of my reading, here is a personal discovery (interesting at least to me) that I am learning to embrace from my reading, as it has created a new level of comfort, calmness, and perspective:

When I accept myself as whom I am, that I am “good enough.” I feel a decrease a hunger for power and control because my comfort with acceptance and intimacy increases my inner sense of security. I no longer try to “fit in” and instead find that I want to “belong.” I have a diminished NEED for being powerful or popular. I no longer fear criticism as I accept my shortcomings and personal human limitations. I have learned and understand that learning, transformation and maturity is an endless process.

Reading is allowing me to define more of who I am.

If there are any books you would highly recommend, jot a note in the comments section. I would love to hear from you.

One Shining Moment

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There are few recaps of any collegiate event that are so iconic in their meaning and association and can stir as much emotion as the NCAA College Basketball National Tournaments, “One Shining Moment.” If you are a basketball fan, or at least a follower of the NCAA Championships, that theme elicits memories and emotions.

CBS sportscaster Jim Nantz put the power of the video montage, shown at the conclusion of the national championship game into perspective: “Every kid that takes this stage, knows the song, knows the lyrics, knows what it means, dreams of stepping foot on that platform come Monday night. That song is really being played for them, dedicated to them.”

Watch the video from the 2016 NCAA March Madness: http://tinyurl.com/z66emqy

First the obvious: The music touches your emotions, along with the energy and emotions of the young players chasing a dream most of them have had for years. The exhilaration of success in a win and the devastation of their dream coming to an end is felt. The entire team’s entourage is dreaming of winning the last game of the season as National Champions. However, only one team will realize this dream, all but one will experience the wrenching side of a loss. But were there any losers?

What strikes me as less transparent: We see the passion and the love of the game that transcends to success whether it is winning the last game of the season, or just being in the tournament as one of the best 64 teams in the country. We feel the story of the human spirit and the power of dreams, effort, emotions, team work and the overcoming of adversity. It is striving for ONE SHINING MOMENT as a result of a string of countless smaller less transparent shining moments strung together to produce the outcome portrayed.

We see the final outcome, not the journey. What we do not see, as in the case of most significantly successful events, changes, and outcomes are the countless hours in the gym, the sacrifice, the weight room training sessions, all those games of success as well as failure. We do not see what is happening in the locker room. There are countless stories of individuals where sports saved their lives by providing them a scholarship and entry into college where they have the opportunity to be part of a team and to experience the feeling and joy of belonging and success.

Moving off the basketball court, there’s something else we often don’t see: The years of commitment of a young employee in corporate life that culminates in being named CEO. We only see the outcome and say to ourselves, “lucky guy or lady,” or “how cool.” I sometimes reflect on the time I’ve spent mentoring a young person on what it takes to succeed in corporate life; the patience, doing what is needed despite the manager, looking for opportunity, paying your dues, taking some risk, developing relationships, and putting in the hours. I have mentored many, yet only a few will do what is needed. Others find fault in everyone around them for their stagnating corporate career. They fail at reaching their ultimate shining moment as they are not willing to have a series of smaller shining moments on their journey.

We do not see the person who makes a decision to change in order to achieve their personal desires in business, in life, in relationships. We do not see the struggles, the emotions, the leaning into the issues, for something that is staggeringly important. If someone is willing, and has the courage to take the risks and make the commitment to strive for their own shining moment, then they will be willing to seek help from resources beyond themselves.

We do not see the transformation when intellectual knowledge is applied to behavior to bring about change. We do not see the journey or the passion it takes to reach for and attain the desired outcome. We may not see how someone prays that those around them will take the time and have the patience to lean into the journey with them in order to experience the magnitude, joy, and amazement of being part of the final outcome.

Caribou has a slogan, “Life is short. Stay awake for it.” This is meaningful for those who desire to truly be alive and awake for themselves and those around them. This is also meaningful for those “inner circle” people in a person’s life who want to share in the joy and excitement of an amazing future.

What we see in the NCAA’s “One Shining Moment” is that it’s one thing to rejoice in the moment of victory and another to honor the journey that brought us here.

I tip my hat to those willing to do what it takes to make a change, to be humble along the journey, to make the sacrifice and be patient, to strive to be their best, to strive to be part of the ONE SHINING MOMENT through a series of smaller, less noticed shining moments.

Cowboy Values

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A Retreat Surprise

Cowboy Values Book CoverWithout looking at the title, there are certain books and writings that by reading just the first few words you know immediately what the subject is:

  • “We the People…” the Declaration of Independence
  • “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” Tale of Two Cities
  • “Call me Ishmael.” Moby-Dick
  • “In the beginning…” the Bible


What is the opening line of the book of “YOU”?

Let me take a step back and provide some context.

Recently I attended a retreat and had time to do some reflection, reflection that focused my attention inward, blocking out the external thoughts of the day and week to focus on what really mattered to me. This retreat enabled me to “lean into” myself. I used this time to learn, discover, reinforce, and adjust what I knew about life, relationships, and what matters to me.

Isn’t that what a retreat is all about?

I heard an analogy that dealt with this exact behavior: External forces (friends, significant others, workshop, and spiritual leaders) can provide us with an amazing spark, yet it is up to the individual to sprinkle it with an accelerant in order to turn the spark into a raging fire of size and significance. When we receive a spark we must intentionally commit to do something with it—to provide it with fuel to continue burning and create change.I have learned that the value in having this knowledge is doing something with it. Having intellectual knowledge without applying it to change a behavior or action, is a total waste of God-given talents and respect for your own time. 

Have you ever found yourself learning great things and then later finding you never applied what you learned? Think about it. If the answer is “yes” then STOP IT!

Memo to Self: Good information often comes from a source you least expect, keep your eyes open! This seems to occur more often when you have opened your mind and heart to be graciously receptive to outside input, influence, suggestions, criticism, and assistance—this retreat was no different. Here’s what I mean:

While on a break during that retreat, there was a book sitting on the table, Cowboy Values, Recapturing What America Once Stood For by James P. Owen. It caught my attention as I had read his first book, Cowboy Ethics, What Wall Street Can Learn from the Code of the West. I knew I had to read Cowboy Values before I left the retreat.

Here are some thoughts from Cowboy Values that resonated with me:

Have you ever sat down and contemplated how society has changed since your childhood? For many of us, we have had perhaps 40 to 50 plus years of observation, opportunity, and now reflection. One thing that clearly stands out: Society has changed. We all are far more self-absorbed: “It’s all about me!” and “What’s in it for me?” or “Yes, I understand, but let me tell you about me!” have become common place in our culture. This self-absorption has permeated our nation. And it is not just one generation—it crosses all boundaries of age, race, religion, and nationality.

Am I wrong? Is it only me (and James P. Owen) that feels this way? What long-term impact does this have for how we relate to those around us? Does it challenge a person’s authenticity?

According to James P. Owen in Cowboy Ethics, there are 10 principles to live by. However, there are three that particularly resonate with me:

  1. Live each day with courage – Do not be afraid to take risks; courage is not bravery. It takes inner strength to live our lives as they were intended, with authenticity, honor, and truth. As researcher Brené Brown has so effectively described, vulnerability is the key to intimacy and to great joy and belonging.
  2. Always finish what you start – Do as you say and say as you do!
  3. Talk less, say more – Close your mouth and listen to the words.
It is who we are that overshadows by a thousand-fold what we may have.

I’d also like to share two of the seven Core Values discussed by Owen’s in his second book that I am intentionally making a part of my daily life:

  1. Authenticity – Are you the “real deal”? Do you carry that touch of confidence that goes along with knowing what you are all about mixed with the proper level of humility that is direct, obvious, and resonates through your actions and behavior?

Authenticity grows from:

  • Understanding one’s self as a whole person, something that takes deliberate time to discover and embrace.
  • Satisfaction in being who we are (and not trying to be anyone else)
  • Actions guided by a coherent set of core beliefs
  • Recognizing our own strengths and weaknesses (and acknowledging them as part of who you are as we are all sinners and to not believe this is deceiving yourself and others) and graciously accepting input from others as we work on our weaknesses
  • Saying what you mean
Honor is the personal integrity and character of a person.
  1. Honor – This is an inward belief and behavior that allows a person to know that they will be honorable in their behavior and decision making. It means doing the right thing especially when no one is looking. It is a moral compass that guides us. In Bill George’s book, Discover Your True North, he talks specifically about how this trait is so critical in corporate leadership, personal growth, and relationships.

I would be remiss if I did not reference an added third core value of my own —having a deep intimate faith and relationship with God. I have come to believe that these are three of the critical core values that define a person and me personally. By incorporating these principles and values into our lives we have the foundation for living out the gifts and talents given to us (as they were intended) and to have a meaningful life and relationships.

Now, back to the opening of this “rambling”: How might your core values and principles influence the first few words of the book of YOU?  

Cowboy Values, Recapturing What America Once Stood For, James P. Owen; Lyons Press
Cowboy Ethics, What Wall Street Can Learn from the Code of the West, James P. Owen; Stoecklein Publishing

Discover Your True North, Bill George; Jossey-Bass

An Introduction

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The launch of this blog comes at a time during which I have been reengineering aspects of my business and personal life. I decided I wanted a way to provide my clients, friends, and “inner circle” a glimpse of insight into who I am as a person. Some of you see just one side of me. I’m choosing to write about a variety of topics and thoughts that resonate with me. There is no real theme to the series, hence the name of this blog. Some of the posts you find here first appeared on an earlier edition of the Strommen and Associates website. I’ve reworked them a bit and am reposting them as they also serve to share a bit about me. Perhaps these rambling thoughts will stir you to do some reflecting on your own life.

I eagerly embrace your input and suggestions. Perhaps you can point me to an interesting article or book that may be the seed for a future rambling. Feel free to direct your comments and suggestions to my email: strommen@strommen.com. I will respond to all emails sent my way. My goal in making this blog is to give you a better insight to the personal side of myself and be increasingly meaningful to you.

So, here we go!